Key Idea #5: Most of the online matching and dating services have had no problems getting men to sign up but they have difficulty attracting women to services that seem intrusive. Dr. Buckwalter told us that they knew that had to get women to sign up or eHarmony would be a failure.

Topic for Discussion: What did eHarmony do to win over the women?

Answer: They made the site safe to use. A women's picture and personality profile are made available to the men she is matched with but the men can only see what she chooses to reveal. The service will say to a man, "You have a match and her name is Sue. Do you want to meet her?" If the man chooses the yes button, he then sees just the first name and a short description of Sue's likes and dislikes. Based upon that information, he may send her a message that is completely controlled by the software.

There can be as many as five communications back and forth that are controlled by eHarmony standard messages before a couple even can begin to email each other.